An Unbearably Intense Feeling of Loss

My super cheerful mom, Koné Fanta (Teeyah)

The cruel reality about losing my mother is that right after her death was when I needed her the most.

Teeyah, my super cheerful mother, died just two days after turning 60. 

Over the years, she endured excruciating pain but fought through like a champion, until Monday (06/10/2019) when this lone light in my life was blown off by the winds of death, leaving a vacancy that will NEVER, EVER be filled: 

  1. Each year, during my birthday, Teeyah would sing happy birthday to me, regardless of her deteriorating health—cheering my heart to no end. Her HappyBirthdaySong + special birthday prayers and best wishes made my special day a memorable one. No wonder I always longed for her call on such days.
  2. Distance—though she was all the way in Abidjan, and me, in Gaithersburg, Teeyah was always with me. She went to work with me each day, conversing with me throughout my journey to work. It was a self-offered full-time job that she took on with exceeding passion. 
  3. She would call me at noon every day of my workweek to check on me, keeping me engaged in hearty conversations. On my day off, she would wait until 1:00PM to call me and stay connected with me throughout the afternoon.

These are only a few reasons why losing Teeyah has exposed me to a grief marathon: weeping for hours (still working on that), battling reduced appetite and recurring sleepless nights, while nursing multiple panic attacks and then going back to feeling numb, again. 

The truth is, even when I think I am learning to live with this irreplaceable loss, grief suddenly pops up and mercilessly bites me, leaving me defenseless.

Our mother-daughter bond was irrationally beautiful. We were friends and fans of each other. Oh Teeyah, without you, my life will NEVER be what it was.  

But then again, The Most High has always known best and always does what’s best. Who am I to doubt His plans? 

Friends, please join me in praying for Allah’s bountiful mercies on my mom. Ya’Allah, please forgive my mom’s shortcomings and grant her the highest level of al Jannat. Aameenayarabi

#When_the_heart_bleeds   #When_death_strikes   #A_remorseless_poison #A_soulless_death  #The_lifelessness_of_this_life #May_He_be_pleased_with_MyTeeyah

20 Replies to “An Unbearably Intense Feeling of Loss”

  1. May her soul Rest In perfect Peace
    Teeyah you will forever be miss by kids, families, friends and love ones
    May Aljannat be your resting place

  2. OMG! May the Almighty God grant the soul of the mother of peace and everlasting peace!
    We miss and will always love you, Ma Teeyah !
    Plz take solace in the Lord, F2. I have no doubt you a truly courageous woman.

  3. May Teeyah’s soul rest in perfect and perpetual peace. May you find the strength, however difficult and/or impossible, to move ahead bearing in mind that that’s exact what Teeyah would want for you. May Allah forgive her shortcomings and the same for all those that passed before her

  4. Indeed, from Allah we came and to Him we shall return. May the Almighty Allah be pleased with her and forgive her mistakes
    Aameen Ya Allah

  5. My heartfelt condolences goes out to you and your entire family for this lost. I pray that our creator ALLAH almighty, bless her soul and forgive all of her shortcomings. Ameena inshAllah.

  6. May your mom be favored by Allah even in death! As u have so passionately spoken, u still remembered our Lord in all things… and for that, He will be pleased with u n give u peace n comfort for He says in the Quran, “which of the favors of your Lord, would u deny”? Sleep comfortably in Jannat tul fildous mama🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  7. Inna lillahi wa inna
    Llayhi rajiun (We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return). May the Almighty Allah give her the greatest reward of all Al Jannah. Subhan Allah!!

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